where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
