It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
