i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
