I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
