Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
