my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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