Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
