he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
