we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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