if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize