literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
