i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
