we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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