i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
