So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
