The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
