i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
