AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
