Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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