i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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