I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
false alarm. still invincible.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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