I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
