he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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