I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
