oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
are you so shy because you have an std?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
