Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
