I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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