He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
