Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
tell me about the fingering
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