I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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