Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
