Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
