Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
