yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize