i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
