this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
