I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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