There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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