hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
