Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
