Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
