p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize