And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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