It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
