Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
