Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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