Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
