she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
