R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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