So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
