so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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