hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
