are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
