its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
