We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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